somwaar

And there she was thinking of how mondays couldn’t get better than this! a warm sun with just that hint of winter in it to wake up to… adrak wali chai… and then her subconscious went ahead and jinxed it. It became the kind of day where anything that can go wrong will go wrong!

So she thought she will get out of office and head to the BDA and get her rent agreement sorted out in life to save some tax..! That will now happen tomorrow and that lays to bed the plans she had of hitting the gym this week! (yes the whole week coz she now has to collect the darned doc at 1030 in the morning and then head to work tomorrow… for day after well she could make it – but after a 13 hour planned work day she has grave doubts. Thursday morning requires to find the landlord to sign the agreement and Friday morning is booked for the conversion from bear to human via a process of shedding the comfortable coat of fur that winters are perfect to acquire but there is no winter this year!) And the weekend finds her either at the NH7 or at a forest at the border of Karnataka and Tamilnadu! So you see… the gym for the whole week just went into the trash – and the kilos did not go alongwith it!)

Lo and Behold she thought that could be her only problem… never ever preempt fate! Just don’t do it… a couple of months of running out of gas on a cylinder she decided its time to book the next one before this one goes kaplonk.. but the gas connection it so happens is in her mothers name and has been blocked for non submission of proof of gas connection and an electricity bill to go with it (when you’re single and consume 1 cylinder in 8 months this is how the mysteries of life reveal themselves to you!). The polite person at the counter at the gas agency told her she has to take the docs and go to the Food and Civic Supplies Association – yes a government office whose website does not show the address and google shows 3 addresses! A government office where the world refuses to answer the telephone that rings and rings and dies trying to ring loud enough into a ear to achieve the mammoth task of getting someone to answer it…! A website which shows the documents can be scanned and uploaded – but where my dear civic supply body is the upload button? The horrors of switching to private gas and paying 1700 bucks for 1 piddly pint sized half filled cylinder grip at her throat and she calls her mommy in a desperate attempt to unburden the felonies of fate! (This is where you should notice that the gas connection has also come in between the gym and the de-furrification!) (maybe there’s a deeper reason why you should just eat and get fat in the winter… maybe this is destiny telling her damaged child to just eat drink and be merry.. but destiny seems to have forgotten the basic fact of no food without fuel.. and where lies the merriment if the means to be merry are spent on getting LPG?! Answer me dear destiny… answer me!)

Coming back to the attempt to unburden on the mother sitting miles away in another part of this country, the mother has decided to unburden on her first and lo and behold – teri shaadi nahi hui hai! Err.. Umm… she looks around furtively.. of course she knows she’s not married! “But beta you must meet that boy.. he comes from a very nice family and his mother was very nice to talk to!” (So the fact that I will have a sweet talking mother in law discounts the fact that the dude in question had a half moon on his head, was wearing a kurta pajam – yes stark white, with the uberest boredest expression on his face and reading economic times because that’s his rozi roti?! It also seems to discount the fact that he sounds like a telegram being sent on a very broken wire and well… likes to read – but light stuff like Chetan Bhagat! Likes to watch movies – only bollywood. Likes to listen to music – again only bollywood.) This is where dear reader you will be asked to read this blast from the past on a lovely valentine’s day… Ishqiya.

Yes – as you expect, tempers flared and tantrums were thrown. 

Second attempt to unload the manic monday… and the big sister throws off another rishta at her! Apprehension – an entrepreneur! Doing well.. but an entrepreneur and the wonderful jinx of this destiny’s damaged child dont really sit well with them.. but as promised.. this too shall be spoken to and explored – at least by the fact that he chose to tread the so called untrodden path it demands an exploration unlike the Chetan Bhagat loving white KP cited above!)

The second big sister is desperately called for want of a sympathetic ear now and well.. too much to ask for on this day when Murphy went for a walk all over her nerve cells! A full rant later there was only hysterical laughter.

~shakes head~ ~keeps phone aside~ ~throws hands up in air~ ~and decides that there is solace only in beer today~ 

And so this citizen belonging to the furry female of the species of this glorious country who as per a government website requires more investigation who is not married and past marriageable age, who cannot go the gym for the obvious business of living and earning to money to live will now spend that money on a frivolous can of beer and engage in the illicit activity of making wine at home without a license while heating some sausages on a gas connected to an LPG cylinder in her illegal possession!

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