और फिर कभी कभी एक अनजानी सी रात मे खुद को खुद के साथ एक सुकून मे लिपटा पाके कुछ अजीब ही ख़याल आते हैं नही?

i could go on staring at the lava lamp as the song played in an endless loop.. it had been 6 days.. and all i was listening to was that one song… just that one song… and everytime it caught my rapt attention with these lines:

हम भी तो हैं इस जहाँ मे
पल भर सही तेरे दास्तान मे
क्‍यों है अभी फासला
है प्यार मे जो आसरा

है प्यार मे जो हौंसला
कदमो पे तेरे हो जहान

and then it’s beautiful refrain ends with

ई बेलएइएव इन पीस
ईवन दो थे वर्ल्ड इस वाय्लेंट
ई बेलएएवे इन गोद
ईवन दो हे इस साइलेंट

i believe in peace
even though the world is violent
i believe in god
even though he is silent

and each time it’s made me look inside and nod my head and wonder ‘how true’. no sarcasm this.. just pure faith. कभी कभी ज़िंदगी की गुमनाम अच्छाईिओं पर विश्वास करने का मॅन करता है नही? और फिर लगता है की ये टक टकी लगाती ज़िंदगी सही मे काफ़ी खूबसूरत है!

अनिरुद्ध: heyo
me: heyo!
mujhe shayad vo kitaabon wala pyar ho gaya hai
अनिरुद्ध: as in
 me: jiske tum anjaam nahi sochte
  bas vo ho jaata hai
 अनिरुद्ध: hmm
 me: tum apni zindagi khushi se jeete ho… par kahin use dekhna chahte ho – chahhe bas ek chai ki pyaali pe thodi se guftugu (thinking all the while… shaam ki chai aur duniya jahan ke kisse… kuch tere hisse.. kuch mere hisse!)
अनिरुद्ध: hmm
aur fir.. ‘hai pyar me jo haunsla… kadmo pe tere ho jahan!’
there couldn’t be a more third grade romantic than me who is so madly in love with the idea of love that each time i am about to jump into the fray the biggest fear is ‘is it love?’ or ‘is it love with the idea of love?’ and more often than not its the latter… 😉 each time a song love song plays.. each time a ballad has hummed i have found myself weaving a web in my mind… a web of random illusions at play with the biochemistry of the physical form.
and in after thought… when i wrote “khwaab” it was probably a conversation with the self…
पर खुद को जो खुद से मोहब्बत हो जाए… तो फिर चाहे ये किताबों वाला प्यार हो या एक ही अलाप को साज़ देती दो आवाज़ें हो… ज़िंदगी से इश्क़ करा जाती है!


and she sits under the winter sky playing with her anklet as the sounds of chirping birds surrounds… she looks unto the torrid gray and reminisces… the soft breeze engulfs her thoughts as she wishes on a future to be… her eyes close and she walks the ledge.. for today she knows she has wings.

she soars to the sound of haunting riffs… she prances forward and free… she lets go of a ramshackle existence and decides to forever be she!

untouched by rain… unsmothered by lightning… she lands on autumn leaves… she rolls in them breaking out into giggles as they slowly turn a dusted green..

a pigeon lands upon her head… it’s neck sparkled purpled and green… they slowly turn to a pair and hide as the storm begins..

tonight… she smiles a peaceful smile knowing this world is threadbare… she opens her arms and flaps her wings… she’s off to her someplace there!


through the haze
a maze of lights
a note unsung
a litany undefined
lightning crashes
the drummer romances the snare
fog lights go on
bursts a november rain
a soul set free
a rendering unto thee
the dance of the red indian
wigwams collide
a bat over a lamp
as questions arise
…and are left unsung in the winter day
waiting for the sun
on this cold november day!

(Image Credits: Sanitha Alam)

unintentionally inspired on a rain kissed afternoon watching the wind swirl the leaves as they reflect on the blue floor of the barsaati! the sounds of a holiday… the trance of this wonderful life… and a wait unto december!