It was a morning that sniffed of the beginnings of winter…. a slight breeze, a fuzzy chill and a slightly hidden sun with the smell of last nights’ firecrackers still residual in the air and sounds of more being burst! It had all the trappings of a wonderful Diwali morning… complete with smells of home made sweets wafting to the roof!

And then there was me… another Diwali at a home away from home…. the morning found me making a rangoli and getting my diyas in order and then heading out to the Gurudwara. Turns out I had the rangoli contract and ended up making three including one for the first floor neighbour while she dealt with a bratty kid! 🙂

And then after all was done and a matka had been bought to soak genda phool in (what’s diwali without genda no? since childhood there has been an exuberance of genda’s in the house on diwali day and well.. the blue and pink barsaati was then given a touch of orange!) it was time to make some sooji ka halwa! It was also a promise to give the matke wale didi some of the halwa… It’s hard to turn down someone when you wish them Happy Diwali and they look at you with forlorn eyes which say if I manage my food today I will be blessed… sweets are a faraway thought…! So post the halwa making and a pooja at home complete with the ghee ke diye and the kesar ka teeka it was time to make a rendezvous back to the matke wali didi and deliver the promised halwa! 🙂 These are the simple things in life that touch your heart… she left her cooking and hugged me.. showed me her little puja place in her tented house on the footpath and then gave me many a blessings for doing well in life forever and ever. I wished her a happy diwali, played with her kid and the dog and the cat for a while and then made my way to the extended family.

The extended family now has always been a source of infinite joy and is willing to celebrate at the drop of a hat… aur fir aaj to diwali thi! 🙂 And what more do you need than friends, food (the best aloo tamatar poori ever), music, some dance, cards, lots of rassi bombs, tequila and conversations!

And it felt nice… it felt nice to have been able to share a tiny part of this joy with the matke wali didi on a perfect wintry morning.



कभी कभी ज़िन्दगी बस एक वो सुर ढूंढती है साज़ को पूरा करने के लिए… हैना?!  A friend had once written these words down and they found a piece of my soul attached to them forever… शाम की चाय और दुनिया जहाँ के किस्से – कुछ तेरे हिस्से.. कुछ मेरे हिस्से…  And this song today not just reminded me of him and the words but also of the many people who I have shared a piece of my soul with over a cup of tea or coffee! The song has taken me into the so many conversations over a cup of  cinnamon/vanilla tea or a warm king sized cappuccino… those turn out the best don’t they?!

They just seem to sort your life out, free your spirit, let your soul wander free! Some cookies or muffins और ये शाम की chai या coffee.. “चलो बाँट ले हम ज़िन्दगी ज़रा आज यूँ कर ले.. कहो क्या ख़याल है?” I also have this feeling that I’ve found the song to which the painting shall come to its’ fruition (yes there’s an insanely eccentric part of me that stops painting of my spirit at a point in time and the spirit of the painting don’t seem to match! the brushes and paints not being right are just excuses.. it’s the song…:) )

धड़कनो की ताल बाजे सांसो का एक तारा
आँगन मे सजाए बैठे सूरज चंदा तारा
चलो बाँट लें हम ज़िंदगी ज़रा आज यूँ कर लें
कहो क्या ख़याल है
एक जहाँ छोटा सा अपना एक जहाँ तुम्हारा
मुस्कान चाहे मीठी हो या आँसू एक खारा
चलो बाँट लें घूम और खुशी थोड़ी गुफ़्तुगू कर लें
कहो क्या ख़याल है
आप से दो बात कर लें
या तो वो जेबो मे भर लें
आई है कुछ दिनो के बाद
यारों की सोहबत मे आके
धीरे से कुछ गुनगुनाके
यूँ ही कट जाते हैं दिन और रात
मुट्ठी मे तुम खींच लाना सावन हरा
एक धनक तुम भी तोड़ लाना फलक से ज़रा
फिफ्टी फिफ्टी बाँट लेंगे किर्णो का कतरा
एक सिक्का धूप हम से लेना गर हम लगा
बेतुक ही बेमतलब हंस ले हम
क्यों ना इस लम्हे मे हां जी लें हम
चलो बाँट ले हम ज़िंदगी ज़रा आज यूँ कर लें
कहो क्या ख़याल है

hawai adda

“There are landscapes in which we feel above us not sky but space. Something larger, deeper than sky is sensed, is seen, although in such settings the sky itself is invariably immense. There is a place between the cerebrum and the stars where sky stops and space commences, and should we find ourselves on a particular prairie or mountaintop at a particular hour, our relationship with sky thins and loosens while our connection to space becomes solid as bone.”  #Tom Robbins

my nose was cold today as I drove through the midnight city soaked in neon lights and a faraway moon… it was the beginnings of winter that I could feel… I wrapped one arm around myself with the window down as the other steered following the pace of Mark Knopfler songs playing…

you would think I would want a hot coffee… but I settled for an ice cold one wanting to feel a winter..

a sole wish to shiver and curl.. a soul wish to slowly twirl…

driving through the night into a pink and blue twilight and past a sunrise…!

passing city lights have off late become the point where my questions become the answers i might seek… there is a strange clarity of thought that happens while passing the yellow street lights.. and when those give way to early morning dew and the freshness of green on a wide road.. there isn’t much left that still needs answers.

a stillness of purpose and the wanton wanderer… a shroud of illusions and a quiet settling down of a faraway gaze as road sign after road sign passes by.

jaane kahan

sometimes you just need to let the silence in your head come forth!

waking up to a lazy sunday afternoon did just that to me… it slowly neatly organized the things i needed to do.. and then said ok – these are the ones we will do and these others we will try.. and as for the rest – this too shall pass! 😉 so little by little with soft rock to accompany the day things started to get done! a repaired car, a well (rather too well) stocked fridge, a clean house, a functional kitchen… and then a much needed warm soak of the feet in lavender smelling salts as it pelted down rain with thunder and lightning right outside!

sometimes we just clutter our lives with so much sound… voices, music (loud), horns, traffic, jagged beats, lists of things to do in the head that aren’t getting done, less food, more alcohol… yes the buzz is a sound too (albeit a pretty dead one..!)

so it was nice to finally hold that cup of warm cinnamon green tea and look around the blue floored barsaati with a sense of accomplishment… a passing glance at the bank balance also said yes you’re ok! 😉

rained in and with happy feet it was time to go and catch up with a friend, philosopher, guide, partner in crime who had been drowning in work! what better way to do it than over coffee! so there we were… two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl and catching up on all that life had been first over an irish coffee and then over a choc chip cookie with a large vanilla latte!

and then who can’t heed a call from the soul sista! so there we were at her place downing rolls and watching a hilarious chick flick! 🙂 it was just purrfect.. it was what sundays should be! it was the rediscovery of a hibernating soul… it was much joy! (and oh yes.. it included gross red nail paint on the hands and feet that stopped feeling like my own eventually!)

the drive back home in the rain as it pelted down.. “the kind of rain that dramatized the countryside, sewing pearls into every web, winding silk around every stump, redrawing the horizon line with a badly frayed brush dipped in tea.” It was the kind of rain where you could figure the world in your head more clearly with every swing of the wipers… all you could see were the orange city lights on an empty road with the yellow neon things glowing from underneath the water to line your lane and slow your thoughts… the kind of slowing that as you spray through a puddle on the dark empty road… it makes you figure what you really want in life.. and then you’re accompanied by oasis singing “stand by me.. nobody knows the way its gonna be” as you park the car! And something in you straightens up.. in the rain pelting down you walk with your head held high and your shoulders straight while swinging the keys around your finger as you climb up to the second floor and step into a pool of water on the roof coz the drain is blocked! Yet strangely you make nothing of it.. open it with a mere swipe of the foot and enter a warm house with bob marley playing on the speaker and see your lava lamp merrily bobbing to the tunes and smile!

it was then time to change… get rid of the red nail paint and swipe it with a very dignified silver.. find another warm cup of tea and get on the phone with another great friend and talk about the hilarity of life!

🙂 Life is good. Gotta remember to keep the noise out every now and then. (and of course.. walk in the rain if not dance insanely in it!)

pudina chai

a cup of pudina tea

yes the vagaries of ginger got to me

a rain kissed night

a slow song full of plight

and well.. no light!

i stare at a cloud sodden sky

as it pelts down into the earth so dry

random cars as they pass on by

lights on high beam

is it all a late night dream

i wonder as tyres scream

a cup of pudina tea

yes the vagaries of ginger got to me

i stare at a cloud sodden sky

as it pelts down into the earth so dry

a fuchsia buddha

a coconut tree

it’s quite the picture of Dierdre

a star of sapphire

why so much mirth and mire

let go.. let go of the ire

a cup of pudina tea

yes the vagaries of ginger got to me

i stare at a cloud sodden sky

as it pelts down into the earth so dry

…. and i end this random rant with my dear cup of pudina tea… !

(~confessions of a twisted mind affected by everyday news and life)