enlightened without the tree!

You know the world is twisted when you start painting fuchsia buddha’s on canvas! Her’s certainly was..! And she would mysteriously smile or get that faraway expression in her eyes… the lava lamp had bene doing serious overtime to keep her gaze affixed on at least one something!

And then sitting there twirling her hair in the yellow light while staring at the peace sign on a coaster she had all the answers she needed! Sometimes we listen too much to the world and forget the voices inside.. sometimes the damn heart and head decide to go on their own trip and then you know you’re in trouble coz your equilibrium… your dna has been shaken!

Well.. shaken.. ! Not stirred! 🙂 And then someone for the second time in the same year called her ‘destiny’s child’. She sat and pondered… and all she could muster up was a smile and a nod… ! Life does have it’s ways… sometimes with a pack of Camel cigarettes.. sometimes without! Sometimes with the same song in a loop from a year ago.. othertimes with floyd ringing in her ears… and a few others with Eddie Vedder on a jacked refrain! Sometimes in deep blue hues.. other times in agonizing fuchsia!

And then it is enough every once in a while to ask the question and say the words to be able to face them and send them to their grave… or othertimes to shake off the apathy and do something. The questions really are the answers you might seek.. and then there is that agonizing voice in the head that finally lines up to the voice of the heart and in that tiny moment you know it is ok. It is ok to walk in the rain and jump into puddles… it is ok to run up the stairs waging a battle against all the ache.. it is ok to sleep at 7 in the evening… it is ok to have cornflakes at 11 in the night… it is ok to sing ur besuraa voice and pretend as if only you can sing the song you wrote right… it is ok to catch a butterfly and then let it go.. it is ok to let a stray cat take a walk in your house while a crow nods disapproval… it is ok to camp out on your roof till 4 in the morning with your blanket in tow… it’s ok to not take a few calls (or run to take another few)… it’s ok to let go, kick back and put your feet up on a chair at the barista while digging sinfully into a chocolate pastry… it’s ok to not pick up clothes from the drycleaners till a week and a half later… and it’s ok to not have your morning tea and dive into a breakfast sausage instead..!

And sometimes it’s ok to be pampered like princess september! 🙂 And it’s absolutely ok to smile brazenly when the world would have you fall and weep.. – coz you really are smiling!

It’s all ok isn’t it..? Sometimes we just think too much and fret over flat tyres, broken gas valves, a jacked credit card bill, a gas cylinder not ordered, a bundle of clothes lying around coz you can’t figure what to do with them, stilettos on a day with a backache, bad knees but good shorts… and forget that the world is made of warm fuzzies and bear hugs! That in the end it’s all ok.. if it’s not ok.. it’s not the end! (and yes.. the fuschia Buddha is ok!)

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love song… ?

Walking by the tide
Sun shining in my stride
Twinkle in my eyes
Reaching for the skies

Waves breaking on the shore
You whisper by my side
Baby…

I hold you and you are mine
I kiss you and souls entwine

I don’t know where I will go
When the plane leaves tomorrow
I’ll miss you every night
I’ll stare at the moonlight

Thinking how we touched
And you pulled my hair aside

I hold you and you are mine
I kiss you and souls entwine

I hid neath my painted coats
Your eyes strippin bare my soul
Tears running.. I walk the wayside
I kiss goodbye.. the stars tonight

Twisted and naked
Your warmth holds me oh so tight

I hold you and you are mine
I kiss you and souls entwine

Walking by the tide
Sun shining in my stride
Twinkle in my eyes
Reaching for the skies..!

tussle with karma

and sometimes it’s these kind of days that make you contemplate on where you are going and where you really wanna go…

a recent 4 AM conversation with a friend resulted in her being told to pick up pen and paper and write down what she really wants from life! but that’s not the way it’s worked for… she’s always held a question in the back of her head and let the possibilities swirl! and as far as the purpose in life question is concerned.. well she’s strongly maintained it is to earn more beer money! sometimes… it’s best to keep it simple!

a day with a car not working well.. with it’s gas tank all gone awry on her and with her not having an extended warranty to cover the costs… 😥 thus leading to a 15 day wait for the part and a fatka of anywhere between 9 and 11 k can’t be good now can it! Especially if it’s taken her to 3 odd dealers and made her talk on the phone to a couple others and made her deal with several mechanics! These are the days she wishes for a man in her life to take care of the things like such machinery that men love to tamper with while she can lie in a corner and read the book she’s madly fallen in love with! Running from pillar to post to figure out spare parts and machines and finances is not her idea of a girl’s job at all! In the bargain of course she turned to her superman in life – dearest sweetest dad! And he got about 7 odd calls from her! She’d figure it out and then call him to sound it off and he would just smile and say yes child.. tats the best way forward! How she could use his crushing bear hug just about now!!

And then some of the Sum Of All Parts was suppossed to meet up and jam today at this nice place and well… even that didn’t happen for the vagaries of daily life took over…

Halfway through the torment she was glad she’d met Granpa for lunch and downed the yummiest beef stroganoff at Cafe 898! It’s a great place to lounge around and chill out in raised far above the noisy traffic below and a wee bit closer to the clouds.. so that resulted in a sense of peace to carry her through the broken car syndrome and the food kept her duly fueled!

At about 6 in the evening after the sun had decided to set (yes… it was one of those days in bangalore where the sun also decided to shine bright!) she found herself at home… the home had also decided to get way clutterred and reach past her usual thresholds! So well.. it was time to reverse her karma! She set about cleaning and then there’s not much that a warm bath, a warm soak of the feet in lavender salts, some floyd, wafts of green apple and cinnamon from a scented candle and some chocolate pastry can’t cure!  And of course.. she finally returned to the book she’d fallen in love with!

So she figures by the end of it she had drastically managed to reverse her karma..

and well.. karma probably couldn’t digest it so kaput went the transformer!! and lo and behold.. her lil barsaati was engulfed in the darkness save for the apple cinnamon candle light! And then hunger slowly began to descend… so one thing led to another and she found herself snug at cilantro downing a club sandwich while cradling the much beloved book! 🙂

by 4 AM she figured karma would be tired enough and it was to a well lit home that she returned… saw her bed and merrily crashed on it! 🙂

the next morning was a nice slow morning which turned into this blissful slow, rained down sunday (with a flat tyre for incidence)… life sometimes has its ways of giving you your solitude and surrounding you with warmth just when you need it most and setting it all right! it’s a simple life.. and our search for the uncanny sometimes self complicates and ruins it all!

keep it simple and keep the supermen in your life always knowing how much you love them! 🙂

rainchild..!

rainchild…
she steps in a puddle of joy…
oh yes she’s a rainchild…

her peace.. it spirals.. it ripples and crackles
thru raindrops breaking
breaking on a puddle!
oh yes… rainchild..

sittin with a book over the window she looks..
a cup of tea to warm her soul
it pitter and patters by her feet
the happy rainchild!

of poodles and pups…
of street dogs that gruff
they rustle up and wriggle out
all of the drops
and they wag their tails
to only muddy up your trail..
she’s a rainchild!

the opening of her arms
the abandoning of all qualms
no more litanies to mangle
on happy thoughts that spangle
she’s a happy rainchild!

wet shoes by the window
they sun themselves out
ready for the rain tomorrow..
her peace.. it spirals.. it ripples and crackles
thru raindrops breaking
breaking on a puddle!

oh yes… rainchild.. 🙂

Image Credits to Ankit Malhotra from his heavenly stay at Coorg on a Bangalored weekend!