zindagaani

and so many are the travails of a north Indian, independent, well earning, staying by herself, with her own car, party friendly, coming in and going out at weird hours, with friends over for the night female of the species!

the most pesky of which are pesky neighbours! then comes a landlord who wants me to learn Kannada! then comes the next door aunty who always looks at me as if her looks will incinerate me right there! then come the neighbourhood jerks who love to stare! then of course i’m also a woman driving well on the roads of bengaluru over taking many a cab wala only to bear their wrath a few hundred metres later!

the constant idlification of life isn’t really bad.. there’s lots you can cook and lots you can eat out.. but the stares that i get when i buy 4 kilos of chicken for a barbeque at a supermarket are not funny! 😉

well… there are good things… too! (~phew!) like the nice kanndaiga petrol pump guy who’ll always smile at me and give me priority (but the terrible people who’ll never come forward to help to change a flat tire!), like the happy surprises of green signals, like a car cleaning guy who also takes care of the car at night and always smiles his 100 watt smile, like the maid who knows on auto pilot what to do and keeps telling her to buy a bed, like the paanwala who knows her paan to the tee now… and on and on…!

 

so some shopping (got 2 fighter planes for a brat of a nephew!) and a day at the spa later she’s called into the call from hell and is living through the motions while fighting off some yumm chinese food!

 

ahh well.. such is life! one adventure at a time and several smiles to make it through it each day! (and her daimoku!) (and there’s the traffic, and the snarls, and the nice boss, and the not so nice other people, and her paintings and her tiny roof and her warm sweet home and so and so on and so on!)

darwaaze

closure…

 

u don’t realize it and slowly starts gnawing at your peace… and it reaches a space where the silence is overwhelming coz its really not silent with all the little voices telling you all these different things and u trying to brush them off…

 

and then when you do find it.. you do put it to rest.. the silence blends in.. you smile… the eyes rest… the soul breathes… peace.

 

well.. and it’s a bonus to discover that you can make some nice risotto’s! there’s nothing that warm food and lots of sleep can’t cure!

 

and then it rained… a wintry bangalore got even more wintry… a lava lamp that decided it’s too cold to waste energy trying to warm up the red wax is proof of this winter!

 

and so slowly… as leaves of memory fall… i pick them up and treasure them (no not all.. just the nice ones!) 😉

dhoop

and life suddenly felt like the credits of a movie rolling by with little flashes of the priceless moments…

and then flash the “special thank to” section…

Dad – started off life with him being Superman… a constant hero! There was much to learn and he taught well. The things that mattered have stayed – he’s enabled the fulfillment of every dream… he’s been there at every step. Now that he’s a phonecall away he gets SOS’d pretty often! He continues to be superman… only you start to realize that he can’t lift that heavy suitcase anymore (so you wish you could be there to do it for him)… and he likes company on the long drives for work… but his hugs are just as warm and just as strong! 🙂 Speaking of long drives I know I got the bug from him! I guess I got the cooking bug from him as well… I can never cook as well… but what the heck.. its always worth a try!

The Big Sister: and that’s what she’s always been! we’ll tear each other apart… i’ll forget birthdays, office openings.. all the big days in her life.. but when it comes down to it.. deep down inside.. i know i luv her. This one’s like Batwoman…! Mother of a 3 year old brat… wife.. homemaker… career woman… i’ll take her trip for doing what she does.. but i’ll never know how she does it! It’s like my worst fears about the future play out in front of me and she miraculously copes with it all!

Best buddy from school through college: this one I lost along the way… I will always remember her mum feeding me laddoos on diwali! I will always remember her horrific accident and how she came through big and strong from it… and I will always remember all the stupidity we’ve seen each other do! I can’t forget when she called and told me she’s pregnant and I go “wtf!!! i’m not even close to getting married yet!” It’s been 2 years since… I am yet to meet her little princess and I am still nowhere close to getting married!

The sweetheart who always stays un-intoxicated: (and then comes to speak the next day of what all happened!) True friend – if you ever want to know what that is befriend her! She’ll stand by you, listen to you, hear you out when you need it most, walk in to give you a hand, won’t eat herself but when you go to her place will feed you! Fun times.. and as someone says there’s just one word to describe her “adorable”! Her naiveté about life in general and her preconceived notions have always given me perspective (strangely enough!) 😉 And she’s the one you go to to feel good about yourself!

Sagely Old Man: has held my hand through many a drunken day… has held my hand through many a “need coffee and conversation” night… Every girl as she grows up and starts seeing the world through the shade of her independence needs someone to hold on to.. to run to… someone who’ll come through come what may! And am I glad it’s him!

Teacher of Drunkenness and how to deal with bad hangovers: (though his advice says have another one when you wake up! 😉 ) Sanity driver.. in a mad crazy world where everything stops making sense talking to him gets me perspective… when the head has spun out of control and the brakes have failed talking to him gets the brake oil back in! Friend, philosopher guide in it’s truest sense!

Iron Man: Keeps the signals green as I rush through to office invariably and always late! He’ll wake me up at 7 and I’ll be late for a meeting at 10! But he’ll be there on the phone listening to me rant. This is my daily diary, my venting machine! And he’s good with shopping and he gives me a taste of the good life every now and then… When i’m losing it and I know I dont want advice this is the guy I go to!

The men that have been: Have taught me a lot while they have been… a luv of music, a luv of the finer things in life and contrasting minimalism, a wanton wish to explore the wild, teaching me to become a shoulder to lean on, a search within me to let my brains spill out creatively…

Ex Boss: There’s much in life you do and learn at work… and this man taught me all of it. He gave me the long and short of it, he trusted me, he backed me up, he stood up for me, he even taught me creative powerpoints! 🙂 A will to constantly challenge yourself… a team to take to the next level… a life less ordinary!

~ she takes a bow and says thank you (knowing she will be dinged by some of you and hugged by the others!)

and then there are more flashes of the priceless moments like the party last night, like my team telling me i’m a great boss (it’s a kick!), like connecting to someone however briefly, like getting to hear that my one room barsaati feels like home, like the warmth and joy that can surround you in any given moment and someone close to always share it with!

मद्धम मद्धम सी धुप सर्दी की इस सुबह में परदे से छन के अन्दर आती है… ज़िन्दगी हमें रोज़ नए रंग दिखाती है!

may the credits go on increasing.. as the wheels just keep on rolling while the drummer begins to drum!