‘delicate sound of thunder’! a flash of lightning here, a cackle of thunder there… woke her up from deep sleep and she lay in darkness listening to it come closer and then slowly go further away…
it had been a roller coaster day that had left her exhausted yet happy.. it had also created a certain sense of emptiness… and the powers that be sounded like they were in a similar mood!
the sounds receded…. the thoughts swirled to a stop… as she found herself nestled in the arms of sleep again.
चढ़ती लहरें लांघ न पाए क्यों हांफती सी नाव है तेरी… नाव है तेरी
तिनका तिनका जोड़ के साँसे क्यों हांफती सी नाव है तेरी… नाव है तेरी
उलटी बहती धार है बैरी… धार है बैरी
की अब कुछ कर जा रे बन्दे!
and so someone asked her how she was today… she could only smile like a brainless maniac and say “i’m broke but i’m happy!” 🙂
a car that needs repairs, bus tickets that needed booking, clothes that needed ironing, a gym that needed joining, a comment on facebook from someone she is totally in awe of, a goofy lil pup running up the stairs with her, a big mug of cold bournvita and a super relaxing afternoon… all mixed up beautifully to get the brainless-maniac-smile on her face.
(~ there’s still a room that needs some cleaning! she shall eventually get to it!)
as the sun shone upon her, she looked down at the ground only to encounter a much twinkling nose ring showing her two very private rainbows! she laughed aloud and figured this is it… life is good.
has discovered that she is no longer used to baring parts of her soul to the people she’s close to… she’d rather roll back into a tiny corner within herself in quiet contemplation…
the incidents are many… the banter always friendly… but maybe never really deep… she likes it that way. it keeps banalities and masks at bay.
and then sometimes life overwhelms you with the colors it has to offer.. you revel in them in the moment they are offered… she doesn’t know about you, but they eventually exhaust her as well as cause a lucid state of intermittent hibernation.
~ she steps back and begins to hum.. ‘iktara’
“O rey manva tu to bavra hai
Tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai
Kyun dikhaye sapne tu sote jaagte
Jo barse sapne boond boond
Nainon ko moond moond
Kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon
…… Anjaane raastein”
a jaded blue midnight sky where a lil star tries hard to look down at the world as the clouds steal it’s view every now and then… it persists… it manages to squint and look down on humanity in a state of stupor and twinkle with curiosity…
on the other side the moon fights the cloud cover too.. only trying to awake humanity from it’s comatose state and trying to show some light..!
do you see what i see…? do you really want to know?
“Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’
Keep movin’, movin’, movin’,
Though they’re disapprovin’,
Keep them doggies movin’ Rawhide!
Don’t try to understand ’em,
Just rope and throw and grab ’em,
Soon we’ll be living high and wide.”
she hates to get out of bed… her alarm rings close to 4 times with a 10 minute snooze each morning as she tries to break the stupor without much luck…
she dreams… she dreams her best dreams in the wee hours of the morning and she turns.. hugs the pillow and keeps her eyes closed…
eventually the sounds of the morning take over…
inner sanctum… the peace within.
silence on her terrace.. raindrops and the sound of leaves rustling… and she sat there letting the thoughts of the day spiral out on her.
a phoenix.. waiting to be captured in a mass of oily colors… an orange hue… a pink sunset.
she figured she liked herself.. enough to be at peace with herself alone without the rant of a television to occupy the quiescence.. and enough to be able to look at herself each morning and brighten her own day with a smile!
she gave in to the red bubbles in her lava lamp as she let the daimoku ‘namu myoho renge kyo’ repeat in her head.